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Was I too chicken to run away from home if my only plans fellthrough?Before I could let my mind continue, my mother was walking out with abucket filled with what looked like six or so hard lemonades."Momma's gettin' druuuuunk," I teased."Correction..." she said shaking her finger. "Girls are gettin' buzzed!" Really?" I said completely caught off guard.She sat and opened the first pink beverage and handed it to me. Awarning from her to remember that my nails aren't dry yet prompted me tohold it carefully. As I sipped the beverage for the first time to takein it's taste, she opened one for herself and took a generous drink."I figured since your alcohol cherry was popped already this week, thatthere really wasn't much of a reason left to not let you do it once inawhile under supervision." She shrugged.I thought back to my first drink a few days back. It did taste reallygood, but the nefarious plot behind the drink itself got my bloodflowing a bit from the annoyance it caused."Plus I get. But can I ask you one last question?”Her: “Go ahead.”Me: “What are you calculating the velocity of, anyway?”A man goes to a costume party wearing nothing but his underwear and a woman on his back.His friends see him and ask “Hey man, what are you supposed to be?”He replies “Oh, I’m dressed as a turtle”His friend responds “A turtle? How are you supposed to be a turtle? And who is that woman on your back?”The man replies “Oh, that’s Michelle” –Thank Phoenix for the following. Three men were travelling in Europe and happened to meet at a bar in London, England. One man was from the US, one from France and one from Canada. They got acquainted and started talking about their problems with their wives.The American began by saying: “I told my wife in no uncertain terms that from now on she would have to do all the cooking. Well the first day after I told her, I saw nothing. The second day I saw nothing. But on the third day when I came home from work, the table was set, wonderful dinner.
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